Have you ever shared your goals with someone and realized later that your goal never happened? How many times did you say that you’re going to do something to your friends or relatives and you didn’t do it?
The reason I ask you this is because what I’m going to share with you in this article has the potential of breaking this vicious cycle. If you apply just one simple technique, you will win, big time! If you don’t, things will stay the way they are now, and you’ll lose time and energy being frustrated for your failures.
The Problem with Sharing Goals
The problem is not in sharing our goals, but in sharing the wrong part about our goal. Let me explain. Let’s say, for example, that you want to lose weight and become muscular and lean. That’s your goal. A goal is nothing more than a vision or a target you aim at. It’s not an activity in of itself. The real issue is that we share the vision and not the activity.
When we talk about our vision (or goal), we imagine ourselves in our mind. In research this phenomenon is called the knowing and doing gap. This happens because our mind thinks that image is real and you no longer need to take action to achieve it. When you talk about it you become excited and have this fake sensation that it’s going to become real.
To make things even worse, your friends would probably praise you for it and you’ll make you feel good. This good feeling is again, giving you the fake sensation that your goal is achieved.
Share Your Goals Like This
I think you can guess it already. The solution is to talk about the activity, not the goal. So the key is to share the boring work you do to achieve your goal.
For example, instead of saying that you will build an online business, say that you’ve started working on a website. Did you notice than when people ask you what you’ve been doing, if you reply that you are simply working on something, not giving to much details about it, you feel somehow much more motivated to keep working on it.
When a goal is acknowledged by others, it feels real in our mind. That’s why we should keep our mouths shut.
I know there are studies that show sharing goals is a good thing. But they don’t specify how you should share them. I’ll give you another example from my real life. If my goal is to make a viral video that will reach 1 million views, I will never say that. I will simply say that I’m working on a video.
Pressure from others
If you share your intention or your personal goal with others, you only put pressure on yourself. And when you are under pressure, you are less creative, you have less clarity and you are in a mental hurry. This study reinforces again what we’ve been discussing here.
I advise you to not share the “cool goal” with everyone. But only the small, boring disciplines that will take you there. Being praised by others reduces our level of motivation. What’s cool though, is that NOT being praised actually increase our motivation. That’s why many successful people succeed because others didn’t believe in them. This is one more reason for you to actually work and achieve your goal. You want to prove them wrong and first of all, you want to prove it to yourself.
The key is to avoid sharing goals that make you feel good just by saying them. Instead, share the boring work you’re currently doing to get you to that goal. That way you will actually do more and be more successful.